Welcome E-Learning Lead Motonormativity Firewall Bathrooms Return To Top

Welcome to Bell Hell School

Located on 40 Cassidy road in Bells Corners, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada 🇨🇦, we take great pride in ensuring that our students experience the closest we can get to actual hell 🤡.

We accomplish this through social manipulation, poor physical conditions and bureaucratic rules.

Alt text

Forced E-Learning Courses

Ever wanted to communicate using a computer instead of in real life? No?

Well too bad! Unless you opt-out, all students must have at least 2 E-Learning course credits to receive their diploma.

What does this mean?

This means that students could be forced to take at least 2 courses entirely through a computer, with no human interaction with the other students or the teacher.

Alt text

Lead in the Water

Alt text
Oh No!

Turns out that OCDSB schools have a habit of putting lead in the drinking water, whoops!

Exposure to lead is associated with a wide range of effects, including various neurodevelopmental effects, mortality (mainly due to cardiovascular diseases), impaired renal function, hypertension, impaired fertility and adverse pregnancy outcomes.

- The WHO

Hope you like cars!

26,993:

That’s how many people were Injured or Killed on an Ontario Road in 2023.

Alt text
Like most schools in “Autowah”, Bell High school is designed for cars, not people, or bikes. The area directly around the school lacks basic bike infrastructure, like separated bike lanes, safe speed limits and intersection daylighting that would save lives and reduce injury to both students and staff. Considering that most students are not in a car and are instead walking, biking, or bussing, cars should be the lowest priority when designing the roads around the school.

The Great OCDSB Firewall

In the name of “Safety”, the OCDSB has blocked several sevices on the school networks that actively hinder learning.

Here are some examples of Blocked services:

  • DuckDuckGo - For aliased, no-bullshit web searches
  • Tailscale - For students to connect to their computers at home
  • Unreal Engine - For creating AAA-style games, for programming classes
  • Discord - Readily used by clubs for intraclub communications
Alt text

Do you like a door on your bathroom?

Alt text
As of 2024, most of the Mens bathrooms in Bell High School lacked a door, while all other bathrooms had one. Rumour was that this was needed due to rampant vaping in school bathrooms, though this was still only a minor deterrent for students vaping.